Spotlight on: Encounter
Encounter is the willingness to meet another, to change and to be changed by the other.
The Engineers were angry that their work was being outsourced to
others. To make their point, they ignored the contractors, gave them
the worst jobs and locations and basically made any communication
between the two groups impossible. A no-man’s land stretched between
them within the department. On a two day course, nineteen engineers
and one contractor, Paul, sat rigid and removed. Yet over the course of
the day, they crossed into the no-go area and arrived at a completely
new and unexpected point: deep, genuine positive regard.
Paul had described how tough the outsourced work was, how dispiriting
it was when there was no communication and how discouraging it was
when there was no cooperation. The engineers finally listened and ...
(Continued below)
Quiet-conflict Resolution
We are all familiar with them, those quiet conflicts that simmer below
the surface in most workplaces. They dampen our enthusiasm for our
work and our teams, they sap creativity and drain energy.
But conflict is an inevitable and necessary part of simply living and
working together as human beings. We live with different levels and
forms of conflict all the time, whether at work or at home. We are
never taught the tools and techniques to use conflict positively, so
many of us lack the skills to harness its innovative potential.
Conflict is necessary and it can be positive. Used creatively it increases
our resources because it leads to synergy, trust, honesty, diversity,
authenticity and an ability to work through difficult issues. Time and
again, we have found that high-trust, high-communication businesses
grow and thrive simply because time and energy is not wasted on these
energy drains, but is focused on finding creative synergy. Enormous
growth is possible when people begin to understand conflict and are
willing to actively work with the dynamic energy within it.
We are running a one-day workshop on quiet-conflict resolution. Bring
along a conflict and leave with a concrete plan of action for resolving it.
Date: June 12th 2008 - 9.00am for 9.30am start – 4.30pm
Location: Montague on the Gardens, Montague Street, London WC1B 5BJ
Cost: £247 (£197 if you book before May 23rd)
Spotlight on: Encounter (Continued from above)
... began to glimpse the human suffering and the cost to the business of
working against each other. They encountered Paul, the human being,
instead of pigeon-holing him as an outsource worker.
Our conversations can be our pathway to encounter. And what is important
is what happens to our humanity in those conversations.
We meet and interact with countless people each day. In rare moments,
we become conscious of how our lives are shaped and our characters
sculpted by these encounters. But mostly we pass through those moments
in an unthinking blur.
The moments that stand out do so because, in those moments, we have had
a deep, genuine meeting, where we truly ‘see’ and ‘are seen’. Encounters
are moments of deeper human connection we can recreate once we
understand the steps involved. So how can we make this happen every day?
It is built on all the tools we have been following up to this point.
- Stillness: An encounter is marked by our complete presence in the
moment. We are not planning a sales pitch, balancing the budget
or worrying about the children. Inside, we are quiet, we are still;
the ‘monkey mind’ is not racing ahead but is quietly present.
- World-class listening: In that moment, we are open, honest, willing
to hear meaning not just the words of the other person. The
phenomenal transformative power of being completely listened to
and the respect this conveys is deeply undervalued in most offices.
- Story: we tell our story, relay our experience and in doing so we
give the other person a sense of what it is like to walk in our shoes
on this issue.
- Honesty: to speak and to listen with honesty demand courage and
care-fullness for each other. This honesty can make us feel
vulnerable because we are seeing the situation from another
perspective, away from the stories, excuses we may have
entertained. That understanding may require us to change how we
act, how we respond which can lead to...
- Transformation: it is a paradox that in becoming more vulnerable,
by coming out from behind our armour, we can become stronger
through the insight that we gain from speaking honestly and
listening openly.
Our website is being revamped
Putting the spark back into our website
We are delighted to tell you that our website is going through a two-phase
re-vamp. Phase one is an intermediate stage, to bring it more up to date
with new content, quotes, stories, a search facility and details of our three
up coming programmes and workshops.
Phase two is a redesign of the site - including a blog - which we are working
on right now. Our vision for the new site is to create a dynamic, interactive
community forum for learning and sharing. It is there to support you and
your work, so we would really appreciate all your suggestions, ideas and
feedback. Just email Jennifer: jennifer.hurley@lamontassociates.com
The Hot Seat
Morag Simmons,
Broadway Tyres
Broadway Tyres is a tyre company that has chosen to do things
differently; it recruits truly remarkable people and values them
bringing the whole of themselves to work. Their genuine passion
and commitment inspires exceptional customer loyalty.
“My Hot seat is Morag Simmons. She has been with
Broadway Tyres for just over a year and it has been
enjoyable from the start.
The one thing I love about Morag is she doesn't judge
anyone; you could say you just killed your mother and
she will take it in her stride but will also provide you
with an alibi! She is kind, generous and unafraid of
anything. She has been known to [...] flash her
tattoos!
Morag can bring a smile to any face. If you need a hug
or just to blow off a bit of steam, she will be there to
listen. I love having her around; she is a friend worth
having.”
Our thanks to Bianca for this month’s contribution. Write in and
nominate your colleague for our April issue: just send us a short
paragraph about why you appreciate working with them.
Book Review
The Future of Management, Gary Hamel (2007)
Hamel offers us a bold, clear picture of the future of management
and invites us to envision a revolutionary and far-reaching change
in the way managers manage people.
He highlights the contradiction between massive technological
advances and the paucity of management innovation, asking ‘Are
we changing as fast as the world about us?’
The 20th century breakthroughs in harnessing the energies of
corporates are now stifling the emergence of a new approach to
doing business. Our ever-changing, ever-evolving world requires
constant improvement to be built into the life blood of every
organisation. But we are using the old model of management to
manage the new.
Hamel makes a powerful argument, demonstrating convincingly
that what is required is a management style that taps into the
passion, creativity and inspiration of each employee. In doing so,
employees bring their full humanity to work, making their
organisation fully adaptable to the fast-changing business
landscape.
Iconoclastic, practical, full of real life examples and very original
thinking, The Future of Management is highly recommended for
leaders who want to discover the ultimate competitive edge. It
offers no formulae but is a call to experiment, create and let go of
ways of management that belong to a by-gone age.
Open Forum
Leadership and gender: the debate continues
The theme of gender and leadership styles has continued to spark great
interest and many responses. Thank you to everyone who shared their
thoughts on this subject.
Below are excerpts from two responses we received. We thought the
use of story in the second response was particularly fitting as it
demonstrated the immediacy and effectiveness of this tool, which we
‘spotlighted’ last month.
- “When discussing gender and leadership there is a risk of
creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that treats all men the same
and all women the same. It is important to see beyond gender
and recognise each other as individuals with different values and
strengths.
- Corporate culture can play an overwhelming role in the values
that employees are able exhibit, as an individual’s core values
may be ignored if they fall outside the corporate value system.
- Many men and women in leadership positions may feel
uncomfortable about the roles and values they are expected to
uphold within their company, and for various reasons they may
be unable to change jobs so they remain stuck in unfulfilling
jobs.” (A.K.)
- “Women use these emotions/past trauma to make up stories to
use as examples to teach younger or new managers and staff -
for instance, how to treat each other and the consequences of
not getting it right. They also use a story approach to explain/
justify decisions in meetings to ensure everybody understands
the approach - and a story approach can often give a message in
such a way that makes it more acceptable overall, than to just
be fed bad news or huge change via a bulleted overhead. I feel
this is often seen in the workplace as 'waffling' or 'not getting to
the point' - but with good balance I feel this often has the
desired effect - a good 'story' at a meeting to sell a point often
covers so many angles it is often difficult for anyone not to
agree!” (K.S.)
We welcome your comments and opinions on this or any other topic.
Email Jennifer at: jennifer.hurley@lamontassociates.com
Story
The problem with dandelions
A man who took great pride in his lawn found himself with a large crop
of dandelions. He tried every method he knew to get rid of them. Still
they plagued him.
Finally he wrote to the Department of Agriculture. He enumerated all
the things he had tried and closed his letter with the question: "What
shall I do now?"
In due course, the reply came: "We suggest you learn to love them."
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