May 2008 Newsletter

Spotlight on: Grieving

By acknowledging and venting our work-grief — briefly and appropriately — we clear space for new doors to open before us.

As human beings, we have a massive capacity for good. We have an equal capacity to mess up. For this reason, it is inevitable that things will go wrong. When that happens, we need some way to release the upset, frustration and disappointment in a constructive and appropriate manner. Only then is it truly possible to move on; without this outlet, pain from the past can, often unconsciously, contaminate and undermine even the best plans.

(Continued below)

Spotlight on: Grieving (Continued from above)

One of the consequences of globalisation is rapid change that can leave people feeling bruised and battered. A large multinational had met new competition and was forced to restructure. Colleagues saw their counterparts made redundant, they also saw the new young recruits, the future life blood of the company, leaving. At times, in the maelstrom of change, it felt as though their values were ridden over roughshod.

With engagement at below 28%, they needed commitment and vigour but many of them - demoralised, demotivated, disillusioned and discouraged - were silently giving in to a dull routine, leaving their spirit at home. Their vision was to be ‘second to none’ in their field globally, however the future seemed bleak and hopeless as their market share shrank.

Lamont’s task was to rekindle enthusiasm. There was only one thing to do with this group, and nothing else could be achieved until it was done: they needed to grieve.

What we did

We asked them to listen in pairs to the issue on top for each person and an incident that had upset each person. This was brief and to the point, getting to the nub of the issue quickly and it had to be accompanied by high-quality listening. Each person had a chance to speak and to listen, and there was a debrief before the pair swapped roles. By being open and clear about their sense of pain, frustration and fear, each person cleared a little space to allow something new to come in. Only then were they in a position to choose consciously, to discern how they wanted to create their working experience within the team and between teams.

They then did the ‘Have to… Choose to…’ exercise. This brief exercise highlights how difficult the most basic tasks become when we feel we ‘have’ to do them, and how much lighter life is when we consciously choose to do something (even if it’s not our favourite task).

The result

The managers had told us that 20% of their time was being spent dealing with negative people issues. Once they applied the tools, they freed up 20% of their time each day, because problems were resolved before they ever needed to come to the manager.The managers were now able to get on with the job! Moreover, within this team there was a significant increase in all 15 performance indicators and a remarkable rise in engagement.

Ideas to try: Grieving

When you are discouraged about the company you work in, vent for three pages of A4. Write constantly, without stopping. If you can’t think of anything more to write, then write, “I can’t think of anything more to write!” Let all the negativity flow out uncensored. Then take a moment of stillness. Allow your mind to quieten. Then go a level deeper, settle into your inner stillness. Become aware of what you do appreciate about your job… where you shine in your job..

In a relationship that has gone off the rails, follow the same venting process and then become still. When we have created some internal space, stillness, peace, insight and forgiveness can become easier. We are then able to speak with the person involved in a more calm and collaborative way, using active listening and feedback skills.

Book Review

‘Not Quite What I Was Planning:
Six-word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure’ Larry Smith (2008)

There is a theme emerging this month, through our story and the book review, of less being more. At Lamont, we like to work with pace, to push the boundaries, to eliminate the superfluous and hone to the essentials.

This month’s book takes the concept of minimalism to a new level. Inspired by Hemingway’s challenge to write a life story in six words, Smith Magazine have now compiled a selection of six-word life stories submitted to the magazine in 2006. They include stories from unknown readers (from “Caring for parents. Life is circular.” to “Never finished anything, except for cake.”) and celebrities, Hemingway’s poignant story was: “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

When each word matters this much, the level of meaning and depth within each word is amplified and intensified. And, just like emails, the character of people we have never met comes through their words; their lives, from the sacred to the humorous, resound with clarity.

Less can indeed be more.

Story – The Japanese Master

The importance of emptying ourselves, to give space for new ideas and perspectives, is vividly portrayed in this short story.

A great Japanese master received a university professor who came to enquire about wisdom. The master served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he could no longer restrain himself. 'It is overfull. No more will go in!'

'Like this cup,' the master said, 'you are full of your own opinions and fears. How can I show you wisdom unless you first empty your cup?'

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